Rebuilding
by soft-trans-boye
Summary: Yang tries to navigate her feelings for Blake while coming to terms with her PTSD. Eventual bumbleBY. Set right after Volume 6.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Shadows

Adam was gone.

This should have made Yang feel happy. At the very least, it should have brought her the wave of relief she had been expecting.

But Yang didn't even get that. She just felt the familiar weight she had grown accustomed to, ever since she'd been to Taiyang's. She didn't have a name for the feeling, but she knew it well. Mostly, she was numb. Like she was still at Brunswick Farms and the Apathy was still right there. But there was always a hint of something she could only describe as pain. Sadness didn't quite suit it, and neither did anger. Despair, perhaps.

It seemed like Yang's brain never cooperated with her anymore. It was always replaying the most painful moments, the ones she desperately wanted to forget. Her mother's disappearance, the moment with Adam, and now, Blake sobbing on the cliff.

Yang didn't know how to feel about Blake anymore. Just looking at the other Huntress beside her on the ship caused her heart to sink. Blake's departure was a reopening of the old wound her mother had caused. Blake had hurt her, maybe even more than Adam had.

But another, deeper part of Yang yearned for Blake. Craved her like water to a drowning woman. God, Yang missed what they had before the fall of Beacon. She missed sleeping together in the bottom bunk. She missed the secretive kisses they would share whenever they could get a moment together. Ruby had known, of course, and Weiss had taken the news well, but Blake was never comfortable going public with their relationship. She had told Yang that she wasn't ready to come out as a Faunus, much less bisexual. Yang had always respected that boundary, even though she hadn't really understood why Blake felt that way.

That was before Adam.

The thoughts were getting too much again. She was getting close to a flashback. Yang gasped for air as the panic constricted her chest.

Weiss, thank God for Weiss, noticed immediately. "Yang, breathe with me, okay?" Weiss's voice was the pinprick of light that punctuated the suffocation of darkness. Yang held onto it with everything she had.

She was calming down now. Yang unclenched the fist she didn't know she had made. Deep breaths. Her brain needed oxygen. Just relax, she told herself. Relax.

"Hey," Blake's voice came into focus.

"We're in Atlas."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Nevermore

Qrow had gotten them a hotel room with 2 double beds each. Jaune, Nora, Ren, Oscar, and Maria were in the room next door. Because Qrow had claimed the futon couch for himself, Blake and Yang shared one of the doubles. Yang suspected it was Ruby's attempt at getting them back together again, and while Yang appreciated the effort, it was going to take a lot more than one night in the same bed to fix what had been broken.

Weiss had constructed a pillow wall to divide the other bed between her and Ruby. Yang found it mildly amusing. Ruby was fast asleep on her side of the bed, and Weiss was in the shower. Yang sat against the headboard, Blake beside her. The silence was painfully awkward.

"I'm sorry," Blake whispered. Her ears were flat and her eyes were shiny with tears. Yang shook her head. "It's okay, Blake," she whispered back. Her throat was choked. "You don't have to keep apologizing."

Blake's eyebrows furrowed. "I messed up," she said. "And I know that I can't fix what I did. But I need you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you. I just felt so guilty." Blake put her head in her hands. When she continued, it was almost like she was talking to the mattress instead of Yang. "I just kept thinking about how perfect you were, and how awful I was, and how you deserved so much better than me. And then I thought that if I left, then you wouldn't have to deal with me and the stuff with the White Fang, and Adam..." Blake was crying now. Yang lifted a hand to pet Blake's head. She still remembered how to comfort Blake.

"It was selfish of me," Blake sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Blake, the stuff with Adam wasn't your fault," Yang said. "It's Adam's fault and no one else's."

"Oh, God," Blake finally looked up from the bed. "Adam. We killed him."

Yang's stomach sank. "...Yeah."

Blake was silent for a moment. "He deserved it," she said expression hardening.

Yang didn't know what to do, so she just nodded and shifted down into the bed. Blake followed suit.

They fell asleep the way they used to at Beacon; Yang clinging onto Blake's shirt, Blake holding Yang close.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Hidden Eyes

The once bright lights of Beacon's dining hall were now dim, and a red tinge from Adam's Aura coated everything in crimson. It was red like Yang's fury, Yang's absolute rage at Adam.

She didn't stop to think, she just cocked back a fist and lunged toward Adam, ready to plunge Ember Celica into his stomach with every last ounce of her strength.

And then, a split second later, pain exploded in her right arm.

"You're nothing." Adam's voice was the last thing she heard before her world went dark.

* * *

Yang barely stifled her scream as she sat bolt upright. To her right, Blake immediately threw off the covers and looked all around her. After determining that she was not in danger, she turned to Yang, who was shaking. "Are you okay?" Blake asked,

Yang just shrugged. Her heart was pounding like a hammer in her chest. She knew that her body was in a hotel room in Atlas, but a part of her mind was still trapped in that dining hall, seeing Adam's sick grin as he taunted her partner.

Blake placed her hands on Yang's shoulders, slowly, and began to massage them. When they were still at Beacon, Blake would often do this if Yang had had a particularly hard day. Yang didn't realize how tense her muscles were until she made a conscious effort to relax them. She also didn't realize how much she had missed this.

After a few minutes, Ruby woke up and headed for the shower. Weiss got up soon after, gathering the various pieces of her outfit for the day. Unlike Ruby, Weiss apparently felt the need to comment on their position.

"Well, good morning, lovebirds. Are you getting breakfast?"

Yang could feel her face flush, despite her wishes. Blake's hands stopped moving on Yang's shoulders. "We'll come down with Ruby," Yang finally choked out. Weiss gave a sound of acknowledgment and turned to leave the room.

Yang turned around to face Blake, who looked as embarrassed as Yang felt, if not more. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that-" Blake started. Yang shook her head vigorously. "No, no, it's okay."

There was a beat of silence and then Yang decided she needed to get out of that bed as soon as possible. Since the water had stopped running in the bathroom, she assumed Ruby was finished with her shower. Cheeks still burning, Yang grabbed a towel and entered the bathroom after Ruby emerged.

For better or for worse, the shower gave Yang time to think.

Yang still had feelings for Blake. She knew this, had known for quite a while. In fact, Yang didn't think she'd ever stopped. Even on the days when her rage at Blake for leaving painted over everything with red, her adoration for the Huntress was always there underneath.

But despite the part of her that wanted nothing more than to just kiss Blake already, Yang couldn't get back into a relationship with her without first dealing with the crushing pain that Blake's departure had caused. Otherwise, the resentment would fester until it bubbled up and ate away at what little Yang had left with Blake.

Yang knew who she had to talk to.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: I'm sorry for such a long wait, I've been having a mental health crisis and in all the chaos I haven't gotten time to write yet. Thank you so much for your likes, follows, and kind reviews. The last chapter is finally here!_

Chapter 4: Start To Bloom

Lie Ren was probably the quietest out of their group, but Yang knew he was the only one (aside from Nora) to manage a stable, healthy relationship despite everything that had happened and everything they still had to do. Yang supposed she could have talked to Nora, but something about Ren's personality gave her a feeling that he could help her understand Blake a little better.

They were seated in a coffee shop in the downtown area. Yang was holding the latte she had ordered but hadn't started drinking yet. Ren was sipping his tea.

"Is this about Blake?" Ren broke the silence.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Yang asked.

"I just had a feeling, Ren said, shrugging.

"I like her. In a romantic kind of way," Yang said.

Ren smiled. "I know."

"And all I want to do is be with her, but…" Yang paused, trying to make the garbled noise in her head into sensible words. "I just feel angry at her too, and I don't know how to forgive her."

Ren's face was impassive. "Have you thought about why?"

"Why I'm angry? She left me! And she didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye, or a way to find her!"

Yang was nearly shouting. The other patrons turned in her direction. She felt her face flush as she looked down at the table. After a few moments, they turned away and the background noise of conversations started up again.

"I mean why she left," Ren said.

"'Cause she hates me," Yang mumbled into her latte. She knew it wasn't true, but she was still

"She doesn't hate you," Ren said. "I think she feels that she was responsible for what happened to you." Yang knew he was talking about her arm.

"But why couldn't she have just told me?" Yang clenched her metal fingers into a fist. "Why would she make me guess like this? Why would she hurt me like this? What did I do wrong?"

"Yang," Ren said gently. "I don't think Blake left just so she could hurt you. She left because she felt that it was the right thing to do. It wasn't your fault that she was wrong."

Yang let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "How do you and Nora do it?" Yang asked, half-jokingly. Ren smiled.

"We talk to each other."

After Yang's incredulous look, Ren continued. "Sometimes Nora does things that hurt me. But I know that she doesn't do it out of malice. I sit down with her and talk about it, and we find a way to fix it. Whatever she does, whatever she says, I know that she loves me. I know that I love her. And we believe in each other."

There was a pause as Ren took a sip of his tea. Yang followed suit with her latte.

"Yang, You have to be honest with Blake. You have to tell her everything."

* * *

"Hey," Yang said, sitting down next to Blake.

"Hey," Blake replied.

Yang took a deep breath. "I'm angry. And sad. And kind of scared."

Blake's ears went flat. "I'm sorry."

Yang shook her head. "Blake, I don't want any more apologies. I forgive you. I don't need you to tell me you're sorry, I just need you to listen. I want to find a way to fix this." Blake nodded.

"When you left, I thought that it was something that I did. Or that it was my personality, that somehow I just push everyone I love away." Yang felt the tears starting down her face and tried to let go of her embarrassment about them. Blake wiped them away with her thumb, stopped, and pulled her hand away. "Sorry, was that okay?" Yang nodded her head yes.

"When I was a kid, after my mom left, I used to just lay in bed and think about what I did wrong to make her leave. I'd go over every memory I had of her, everything I knew about her, looking for where it was that I messed up."

"It's so hard for me to move on, Blakey." Blake shifted at the pet name that Yang hadn't used for her since their days at Beacon. "When you left, it was just like everything started breaking down again."

"Yang, I'm sor-" Blake stopped herself from apologizing again. "It was selfish of me. I kept telling myself that I was doing the right thing. I felt like all I did was ruin everything for you. And you don't deserve that. You deserve to be happy, to be loved."

"But you didn't ruin anything," Yang said. "You made me so happy, you still do. I wasn't mad at you for what Adam did. You didn't hurt me until you left."

Blake wiped the tears from her eyes. "What do you need from me?"

Yang thought for a moment. "I need to know that it wasn't something that I did to make you leave."

Blake smiled bittersweetly, tears making their way down her cheeks. "Yang, I promise that it wasn't your fault. I still loved you every day I was gone. I missed you every day I was gone. Every morning I woke up and you weren't there, I felt like I was missing part of myself."

"I'm still upset with you," Yang admitted, and Blake's face fell. "But it'll pass. I forgive you," Yang assured. "What do you need from me?"

Blake wiped her eyes and smiled. Her voice was shaky when she spoke. "I just need you to know that I love you. I love you and I never meant to hurt you."

This wasn't the way Yang wanted to hear Blake say "I love you," but it would have to do.

"I love you too," Yang said, feeling a pang of both joy and sadness in her chest.

"None of this is our fault," Blake said, almost like she was telling herself. "It wasn't your fault that I left. It wasn't my fault that Adam hurt you."

Yang nodded vigorously. "You're not responsible for his actions."

"I know that," Blake sighed, "but it doesn't feel that way. He told me that everything that went wrong was my fault. He always blamed me for every mistake he made." Blake's expression changed from sad to angry and in that moment, Yang felt a swell of pride.

"Can I kiss you now?" Yang asked. Blake pulled Yang closer in lieu of an answer, and their lips met.

It felt like home.


End file.
